Week Two!

Welcome Back!

Thumbs Up: Y’all, it’s still the goats. They’re just THE BEST. On Tuesday I actually had four of the kids climbing into my lap at one time. That’s right – four baby goats. IN MY LAP.

This is Eloise and her triplets: Charlotte, Elizabeth and Diana

This was taken right before the last triplet and one of their friends joined them in climbing on me! 

#squad 

Thumbs Down: My heart hurts. For lots of people and lots of reasons, some of which are very close to home and others which really aren’t related to me at all, but hurt just the same. This week I have been made even more aware of the brokenness in our world, which is making it harder for me to see the beauty right now. I also have quite a few big decisions on my plate, so Prayers are appreciated!

God-Sighting: I took a walk with one of the sisters the other day. I think we went maybe 100 yards across the parking lot and then turned around and came back. It took 30 minutes. I am not the most patient person, so this was a growing experience. But, she said to me as we walked, “I’m glad to be able to walk. My body doesn’t work as well or as fast as it used to, but it still works. And I still have my mind, so I’m grateful.” It made me pause and consider how many blessings we have, and really reminded me of the preciousness of life and health. I am starting to understand the sentiment in Gilead, that “Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined.”

Other notes: I am thinking a lot this week about the intentionality of language. What we choose to say and how we choose to say it. The seeming flexibility or inflexibility of this phenomenon called English. I am surrounded by words here: in the daily office, in my daily journaling, in the books I’m reading, in these blog posts. I have become acutely aware of not only what I am saying, but the intention behind those words. Some people might think that prayers written down in a book aren’t as meaningful as those original to you, but this week I have been blown away at these words that were chosen for us to pray. The words in the prayers are intentional and the prayers are intentional and when you say those words intentionally as prayer, more than just reading along with the office – well, I am floored. The repetitive nature of the monastic life has also pushed me to consider the value of words so often repeated. I haven't taken an actual count, but I think we say the Gloria 40 times a day. At first I was a little bored with it, and it felt overdone and meaningless, but the longer I stay here, the more I come to appreciate the choice to say these words of praise with intention. Alongside this, the general quietness of the convent has drawn my attention to what conversations I am having, and why. Our days are not filled with conversation, but the conversations we do have are not idle, but intentional. This week, I am trying to speak, read, write and pray with intentionality as I ponder the power of chosen words.

Other than that, I am still doing 86416515 dishes a day. I also gardened and weeded this week! I don’t know what I gardened or weeded, but I did it! I am also able to read quite a bit, and for that I am very grateful! I also registered for my classes at UT Austin this morning! 

Duffy, the goat dog!

When the nuns are away, the interns will...take a nap. 

We had a quiet weekend at the convent (just five of us) while the rest of the crowd was at the Diocesan Convention. We read. And cooked. And rested. And laughed. It was good.

My prayer this week:

"Spirit Lead Me Where My Trust Is Without Borders / Let Me Walk Upon The Waters / Wherever You Would Call Me / Take Me Deeper Than My Feet Could Ever Wander / And My Faith Will Be Made Stronger / In The Presence Of My Savior"

Week One!

Can you believe it’s already been a whole week?! I arrived last Wednesday, driving up from Albany with two women in their 80’s who are “still sharp as tacks.” ß Mother Miriam told me that, and I’ll admit I was nervous, but she was right and we’re all good friends now!

Thumbs Up: THE GOATS ARE AWESOME. I LOVE THEM. There are about 20-25 goats in the regular herd, plus four bucks and about 10 little babies. The wee ones are SO cute and are really friendly, so I’ve gotten to hold and play with them.

Thumbs Down: Summer can be cold here!! It’s been in the 40’s and 50’s the past couple of days, so I’m praying for warmer weather!

God-Sighting: so many! But, one huge blessing is making new connections through mutual friends and reconnecting with others not seen in years. I am being continually reminded of how small the Anglican/Episcopalian world can be, and I love it!!

Other notes: The Sisters of St. Mary are a 150 year-old Episcopalian order. There are four sisters currently living at the convent, and I follow their daily schedule of prayer, and help our wherever I’m needed! We’ve had a lot of visitors this week, and lots of special services, so my jobs have including everything from washing a golf cart to weeding a flowerbed to doing dishes! I’ve also had some down time to read and explore a little bit of the beautiful property. I’ve included some pictures of the people (and animals!) I’m spending my time with!

Peggy (L) and Hattie (R), associates of the Sisters. They flew the same day as me and drove me to the convent! Also, we have become best friends since then.

Me with a six-day old kid

Tiani

Rye

Little Charlotte

Bonus: the retired Archbishop of Canterbury and his wife are visiting! Lord George and Lady Eileen Carey are AWESOME and I have so enjoyed spending time with them. Also, they take selfies. Apparently Eileen got George a selfie stick for Christmas!

Lastly: I do have cell service and wifi, so I’m still 100% contactable as usual. You can also follow me on twitter (@montanarindahl), where I occasionally share funny things some of the sisters say (#nunconvos). If you’re of the letter-writing inclination, I can also receive snail mail at

Montana Rindahl

St. Mary’s Convent

242 Cloister Way

Greenwich, NY, 12834

I promise to enjoy hearing from you, but not necessarily responding!

I’ll sign off with a brief prayer said at Compline every night:

"Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen."

A Few Words on Graduating...

Many of you know that, as Abbey Student of the Year, I was given the opportunity to speak to my fellow graduates this past Saturday. For those interested, I've reproduced my speech below:

Good morning, and thank you, everyone! All praise be to God for getting us here! I am immensely honored and humbled by this award. I would never had made it this far without so many wonderful people – Dr. T, Dr. Williams, the monks, all of the Faculty and Administration, and everyone in the Athletics Department: your indelible impact on my time at The Abbey will never be forgotten. To my parents and sister: you have never given me reason to doubt your love and support – thank you.

And now? Wow. I can’t believe this day has finally come. It seemed so far away when I celebrated my 18^th birthday on move-in day freshman year. How much we have grown since then! You, my fellow graduates, are some of the most honest, invested, generous and passionate people I know; you are all as deserving of this honor as I am. I am blown away by this community, which is filled with so many like-minded and like-hearted people, who have chosen to share their lives with one another.

Many of you know that I have lived longer at The Abbey than I have in any place since the 3^rd grade. In a place normally filled with transition, I have found stability. For the first time in a long time, I have put down roots – and actually had time to grow. It breaks my heart to leave this place that I love so much. We have shared our lives so deeply that I have wanted to say “Life Stand Still Here,” as Mrs. Ramsay does in the novel To the Lighthouse. I have wanted to press pause, to stretch a moment out as long as possible before it becomes a memory, to keep the laughter and smiles eternally present. I am overjoyed to call The Abbey home, and you my Abbey family.

I believe with all my heart the closing lines of our acceptance letters – “Excellence is not an accident; Divine Providence has led you here.” Divine Providence led us to this space – this piazza of the Basilica, the monks’ front porch so graciously opened to us – it led us here four years ago when we attended Matriculation and became official students of Belmont Abbey College. Divine Providence has guided us as we shared practices, conversations, laughter, tears and ideas, all across on campus – even on these very steps. And now, Divine Providence has led us back to this porch as we become students of the world. How precious it is to share this moment with you all, on my favorite spot on campus. This porch seems so simple, hardly anything special about it, but it holds so many memories. It represents everything most dear about The Abbey: the simple, everyday things that allow for extraordinary moments and make up a life. All the classes and the lunches and the smiles and nods on Abbey Lane that grow into conversations of “What? You too? I thought I was the only one” – conversations C.S. Lewis calls the beginning of Friendship.

In the Four Quartets, T.S. Eliot writes, “What we call the beginning is often the end / And to make an end is to make a beginning. / The end is where we start from.” Walking across this porch brings us full circle. It’s sad to leave home, to leave a community held so dear, but Eliot also tells us that “Home is where one starts from.” Our Abbey home has prepared us in mind, body and spirit. We have learned about work and prayer, sport and virtue. We have been encouraged and aided as we sought truth and excellence. Let us embrace the beginning in what feels like an end. Excellence is not an accident, my friends; we are blessed to be drawn to the new opportunities available to us because of our time spent pursuing excellence here at The Abbey. Let us trust in Divine Providence as we seek truth beyond these grounds.

Now: to my teammates, roommates, classmates and friends, I leave you with a few more words of T.S. Eliot: “Not farewell / But fare forward, voyagers.” Now, y’all better be at homecoming!

-Tana

Dear Lady on the Plane, My Education IS Relevant

I wrote this piece awhile back -- actually for a class -- but have been wanting to share it for awhile. I hope you enjoy my thoughts (not *quite* random ramblings) on the Liberal Education.


When I fly home for break, I know that more than likely I will have the conversation with
some kind-hearted-but-still-too-nosy fellow passenger about my life, my family and my
education. The mid-life lady who smiles when I tell her I how I have not seen my parents in months, but chuckles when I say I am studying English. The one who thinks the quip, “Would
you like fries with that?” is still funny, as if I had never heard it before. The one who does not
know about the newspaper clipping in my thesis binder headlining “Librarians in Short Supply,”
or a recent poll tacked onto many of my professors’ doors showing clearly how most humanities
majors make more annually than those who studied Business. The one who, despite her wellmeaning
intentions, fails to understand that my education is not about not working at
McDonald’s, or bringing home six figures a year. Not one to share my life story to the stranger
next to me on the plane, I will respond light-heartedly about my plans to “inspire young readers,
change the world, all that jazz,” and tell myself it is okay that she thinks I am kidding. A few
years ago, I was.


I ended up at a liberal arts college on accident. I wanted small; I wanted private.
Coincidentally, the colleges that fit those criteria were also liberal arts colleges. I majored in
English because I liked to read and people told me that I was a good writer. If I did not have
plans for marriage and a family by the time I graduated, I thought I might go to Graduate School,
since the only career goal I had ever really had was Librarianship. A few years later, my outlook
on nearly everything has changed. I believe everyone should attend a liberal arts college for at
least one year. I believe that Story is inherent to the human condition, and to study literature, to
think critically about poetry and prose, is to study human nature. I believe in the enduring power
of libraries and the essential role of librarians in today’s society. Most importantly, I believe I
will change the world.


In a society where many believe that “college is the new high school,” one may have
doubts. For the many that disparage the educational choices of students like me, one questions
the power of a Bachelor’s degree to guarantee one employment, much less equip one to change
the world. However, according to John Henry Newman, this is exactly the purpose of the
university. In his The Idea of a University, Newman credits “training good members of society”
as the “practical end” of a university education (134). By “this process of training, by which the
intellect…is disciplined for its own sake, for the perception of its own proper object, and for its
own highest culture,” are good members of society – ladies and gentlemen – created (115). The
liberal arts college provides a place for developing “the eye of the mind, of which the object is
truth, [and which] is the work of discipline and habit” (115). In an institution of higher education
where professors teach Philosophy hand-in-hand with Theology, where Economics meets down
the hall from Scripture, students learn from interdisciplinary curriculum and are encouraged to
seek truth through all that they study. They are constantly affirmed “that Knowledge is its own
reward” (136). With the development of intelligent, honorable, tactful and truth-seeking men and
women as its primary goal, the liberal arts education fails to have anything but a positive effect
on society and its members. However, while Newman clearly demonstrates the positive effects
of the liberal arts education, he recognizes it as an ideal and gives professional educations their
due. After all, the world survives because of those doctors, dentists, plumbers, contractors and
others with scientific and technical educations. We all help change the world.


One of my favorite bloggers – Christian author, speaker and mother of six – Ann
Voskamp, posits, “If you want to change the world, change one person’s world.” It need not
require a professional or technical education with immediate and tangible results. It may consist
simply in one friend saying to another over coffee, “I love you.” Both better society. Personally,
I hope to change the world through librarianship. The love of learning instilled in me at a young
age has grown exponentially in a liberal arts setting, leading me to desire Graduate School as a
non-negotiable piece of my future. I want to show children the myriad of opportunities at their
fingertips if they only open a book, to instill a love of knowledge for its own sake. I want to help
better society by working for its youngest members.


My liberal arts education has enabled me to recognize these desires and, in turn, articulate
them as my values. It has taught me to create plans to achieve my goals, to understand and
communicate with those around me, and to realize what truly makes me happy. It has led me to
value knowledge for its own sake and to hold excellence and virtue in the highest regard. It has
taught me that society depends on the development of the whole person and has reinforced the
belief that one must possess the ability to think critically about the people, situations and ideas
one inevitably encounters to keep from compromising one’s values and goals. Newman assures
us that “a University training is the great ordinary means to a great but ordinary end; it aims at
raising the intellectual tone of society, at cultivating the public mind, at purifying the national
taste…and refining the intercourse of private life” (134). The heart of the matter rests in that it
matters not specifically what I do, but that I do it excellently while seeking the truth. Whether I
become the head of marketing at a well-known company, the mom of children whose clothes do
not match but who love to discover, the editor of a big-name magazine, the librarian who quotes
Aristotle along with Dr. Seuss, or the most well-rounded food-service worker in town, I will still
help change the world. The lady next to me on the plane may scoff at my idealism and disdain
my willingness to pay the ever-increasing cost of liberal arts tuition, but I feel at ease. There is
no price too high for education, no expense too costly for changing the world.

- Tana

[ N O W H E R E ]

What do the letters above spell?


Some read them all as one word, "Nowhere," while others see them as two, "Now Here." Funny what a difference a single space makes, right?


When a Coach of mine presented this exercise to my team once, we looked at what it means to be mentally present and focused on the present moment. She told us, "If you are not Now Here, you are going Nowhere." The president of our college and sport psychologist Dr. Thierfelder urges athletes to focus on staying mentally present with the encouragement, "as much as you are in the present moment, you are in the presence of God" -- the idea behind this being that, as God is not bound by time, he is present always and everywhere; he is in every moment. If we are living 100% in the present, we are with God.


I learned about these tips in order to focus in my sport, to be mentally disciplined, to move on from mistakes and bad calls, to become the best athlete I can be.


But this week, as I've been thinking more than ever and reminded constantly of life after Graduation come May, I've realized that we can all benefit from these ideas.


Most people know that I am not an outwardly emotional person. I actually told a friend last week, "emotions are stupid" when asked about my feelings towards our last President's Ball. It's not the most academic or descriptive or logical statement, and it's certainly not 100% true. But, what I mean is this: I want to be Now Here. I want to be present and in the presence of God and those around me. I know I won't get to Graduation without looking back a little. I know I can't move on past Graduation without planning ahead some.


But, for the most part, I won't be reminiscing about our days as baby freshmen. I won't be comparing freshman year to senior year. I won't be getting emotional over all of the "lasts."
I also won't be worrying about the future. I won't be completely preoccupied with grad school and job applications. I won't be taken by all of the "firsts."

I will be Here. Now. I appreciate the past and how I have grown. I look forward to the future and how things will change. But, I love the present. I love my friends, and my teachers, and my teammates, and my church, and everything about the life I live now.


So I will spend this year investing in the people who are currently around me, in the place I currently am, with the God who is both in and out of this crazy phenomenon called Time.




(I will also probably keep calling emotions stupid.)



-Tana

Why You Should Watch "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries" or How YouTube Changed my Opinion of Jane Austen

For the record, y'all can thank Jojo for this post. She encouraged me to write it (I mean, y'all really think we've had a one-year hiatus because we were banned from the internet or something? Come on). But moving on.


I promise to [try to] keep this short. A few days ago I was sitting in my living room, bored, when I remembered that some of my friends used to watch these videos called "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries." I refused to watch them as they came out/while they were popular with said friends because *gasp* I had yet to read Pride and Prejudice, so I didn't see the point. Also I hadn't read the book because I wasn't interested in the story, or in anything Jane Austen, for that matter.


Fast forward to last Christmas. I finally realized that, as an English major and self-proclaimed lover of literature, I really ought to read Pride and Prejudice. Besides, it's a personal philosophy of mine that you can't talk about something you don't know about (the reasoning behind my silence on Twilight, and my [lengthy] critiques of The Hunger Games). So I checked it out of the library (please hide your looks of alarm that I don't own this book. I thought we established my dislike for Austen already?) and forced myself through it over Christmas break.
Major pluses?
(1) I've finally read Pride and Prejudice, or, an Austen novel in full. . .
(2) I can now fully participate and engage in dialogue and debate about aforementioned Austen novel
(3) I love Lizzie and Darcy! I mean, I still totally don't get why they're such a great couple. Maybe that should go in the minuses?


Major Minuses?
(1) I still don't get the Lizzie-Darcy phenomenon
(2) Mrs. Bennet is possibly the most obnoxious fictional person on the planet
(3) No one DOES anything. All they do is talk. Or write letters. Or wait for visitors. Or visit the people that just left. Or wait to get married. Or talk more about their letters or visitors or [potential] impending marriages.


Fast forward to a few days ago back in my living room. As you have probably already inferred from the title of this post, I decided to watch these videos I had heard about. I'll admit, I was hooked from Episode One. Six episodes in, I decided to wait and share this viewing experience with my sister. Due to the reasonable length, colorful characters and general hilarity of each video (and the addictive nature of a YouTube playlist), we made it through 40 episodes that day!


The next day we watched about ten more episodes. Then last night we finished the series!
Yes, that's right. Finished. Done. All 100 episodes. Originally released twice a week for over a year, knocked out in less than three full-days' time. Yes, we stayed up until 1:30am to find out what happened.


But, here's the thing. My sister and I have both read Pride and Prejudice (and we've both seen the movie, albeit quite a time ago). Regardless, we know the story. We knew what was going to happen. So why were we so enthralled? Because we wanted to know how it was going to happen. This isn't a new concept (anyone seen a movie remake recently?), but it is one worth mentioning. Because, at the conclusion of our YouTube journey, I really like the story of Pride and Prejudice.


Yes, that's right. That realization shocked me too.


I've had quite a few realizations, actually.
(1) Classics are classic for a reason
(2) I was prejudiced against Pride and Prejudice, for reasons I will later explain
(3) Sometimes, a part of a story one person loves can hinder or even hurt another person's appreciation for the same story


To (hopefully) quickly conclude, I pose the following question: why do we read classic literature? People really love to write on this topic -- ranging from Sir Philip Sidney's An Apology for Poetry to those studies currently circulating the interwebs, which I would reference here, except I trust that you are capable enough to Google on your own. Some short excellent reasons include but are not limited to:
(1) we love stories because we were created by the greatest storyteller of all time
(2) we love stories because they are about people and we are inherently relational
(3) we love stories because they allow us to enter into the lives of another: to think and feel as a character thinks and feels
(4) we love stories because they show us truths about human nature


Classic literature is composed of works whose authors have accurately and artistically portrayed the lives of others, allowing us to not only read their stories, but to participate in them, resulting in us oftentimes learning as much about ourselves and our wider community of humankind as we do about anything that actually happens in the book.


So, what does this have to do with a YouTube channel? In short, "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries" took everything I don't like about Pride and Prejudice, namely, how unrealistic the time period and setting make the plausibility of the story today, and changed it. But, in some stroke of genius, they were able to exchange the dated for the modern without compromising any major events of the plot, character qualities, lessons learned or truths taught. Every character is certainly different, and, true, some are missing. Mrs. Bennet is no less bothersome. But, the modern characters are no less real, face no fewer struggles and, honestly, I feel like I know them.


Whereas some people really love early 19th century England, full of well-read and accomplished women and dashing gentlemen ready to sweep them off their feet -- literally or figuratively -- the notion of a society where women must marry, can't own property and, let's be real, never wear pants is a major turn-off for me. The historical context of Austen's novel prohibited me from fully appreciating the story within it.


But, due to a fictional 24 year old in California pursuing a Master's degree in Mass Communications, I found a Lizzie Bennet I actually like. Lizzie in the 21st century, complete with twitter and planes and texting and independent women and many other things I love, let me see the deeper parts of her story. The parts we love stories for in the first place. I love Lizzie's relationship with her (albeit fewer) sisters.  I realize the magnitude of Darcy's actions towards the Bennet family, and Lizzie's prejudice against him. I realize the difficulty in communicating effectively, even in this century, and why so much of our lives involve SO. MUCH. TALKING.


So, my little adventure with YouTube and laughs turned into something much greater. Thanks to "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries," I learned about human nature and, yes, about myself. So: I suppose Jane Austen isn't so bad after all. Her story's lasted this long, hasn't it?


.
.
.




okay fine. . .I guess I do love Lizzie and Darcy now.
They're not perfect, but they're perfectly human. And, while I definitely prefer the 21st century version of them, I guess the 19th century version is alright too :)


Thanks for sticking this out, if you've made it this far! Kudos to you!


- Tana

Relative Definitions

"I'm poor."

How many times have I said this? I don't know. I said it again today. Why? In response to the news that Old Navy is having a sale this weekend. I was seriously glum because I didn't think I had enough money to go buy any $8 dresses. 

But then I realized. I am seriously sad about this? When I have a closet and a dresser full of clothes? When I just got rid of things because I thought I had too much clothing?

It made me think: how skewed is our perspective of poverty. Of what it is to be poor. "Can't, I'm poor." "Wish I could, but I'm poor." "I don't have any money, but..." these and their similarities are the refrains of college students, including myself! What do we usually mean when we say these things? 

We can't afford a trip to Scarowinds.

Or a regular priced dinner at Moe's--we should wait until Monday.

We can't go to the movie; we'll redbox it.

We're not ordering pizza tonight; PB sandwiches it is. 

etc.

But, is this really poverty? As I sit on my couch in my climate-controlled dorm, settling down to do homework for my high quality, private, liberal arts college education, in my monogrammed soccer gear with my personal laptop and smartphone within arm's reach, I say "I'm poor" in response to a friend's invite to Cookout. 

Is that what poor looks like?

I recently read Ann Voskamp's blog: A Holy Experience (check it out here). Writing about child sponsorship, she says:

"If you have any food in your fridge, any clothes in your closet, any small roof, rented or owned, over your head, you are richer than 75% of the rest of the world. We are the Esthers living inside the palace.

If you have anything saved in the bank, any bills in your wallet, any spare change in a jar, you are one of the top 8% wealthiest people in the world. We are the ones living inside the gate."

I have lots of food in my fridge, plenty of clothes in my closet, a sturdy roof over my head and money in the bank. I do not seem as poor anymore.

I have a beautiful, loving Christian family. I have too many friends to count that love and care about me deeply. Most of all, I have the perfect everlasting sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have hope.

Christianity Today, a leading Christian magazine, published their June issue with the cover story, "Want to Change the World? Sponsor a Child" (check out the full story here). It follows the story of Bruce Wydick, a top economist, and a few of his graduate students who led a study in three different countries on three different continents, measuring the effects of child sponsorship through Compassion International (their website is here). The results were phenomenally in favor of sponsorship. To me, the most striking finding of their study was the increased level of Hope found in sponsored children over non-sponsored children. 

So, all this to say: I decided to put the 'giving' into thanksgiving. In recognizing exactly how poor I am Not, God showed me it was time to share. A few of my friends and I have partnered to sponsor a little girl named Angelique in Rwanda. We would be honored if you would pray with us for her and her family!

I can honestly say that giving Compassion a credit card number is one of the best things I have ever done. I am so happy and excited to begin this venture! I am blessed to be a part of Compassion's ministry of Releasing Children From Poverty In Jesus' Name. I am blessed to be able to share the hope and love that I have receive every day. 

So today I am poorer than I was yesterday.

But I am so much richer already. 

I guess poor is a pretty relative term.